Ok. So I went to birthing class again yesterday. That's twice in one week. I endured, I learned, and I'm in good with Haley. So... success! Time well spent.
The funny thing was that this time around, I guess the teachers figured that we had already been to one birthing class, and so we should be in the know about everything - like birthing lingo. Birthing terminology. Birthingology. That's what i'm going to call it. So to be able to communicate and participate in the world of birthingology, there are a few important terms you should know (which I quickly picked up having learned from all my language classes... English, Spanish, Greek, Hebrew... that one must consider the context clues when one does not know a term... ha!). Ok enough. here are the terms:
void - to releave yourself. defecate. pee. poop. you get the idea
vag - short for vaginal. it seems that this word must be shortened so that you can use it more frequently. not sure that it will form it's way into my vocab. enough said
cath - short for catheter. a flexible tube inserted through a narrow opening into a body cavity, particularly the bladder, for removing fluid. let's move on before I actually feel the pain I'm describing.
circs - short for circumcision. A good thing and a painful thing. Glad they do this when you are young so you don't remember it.
latch - this is the point when the baby "latches" onto momma's nipple. A guy in our class said he watched a mom who was still breastfeeding a 10yr old boy. disgusting.
footballing - a certain position to hold your baby while breastfeeding. I don't think that you should run while doing this, or try to juke anyone, or fumble for that matter. But... stiff-arming might come in handy?
well. that's all the terms for now. let's see if we can use them in sentences:
To help her void, they inserted a cath. The baby came out the vag, and it was now time to breastfeed; so, she quickly footballed the baby so that he could latch. Soon, they would perform the circ.
That's all I got. I can't believe I wrote all that down for public consumption.
5 comments:
Tyler...I found your blog off the Azam's website. This entry is hilarious. You are such a good hubby and I'm sure you are going to be a fabulous daddy now that you have all the lingo down. That's really all you need to know...oh, and you need to just say "yes dear, I love you" throughout the remainder of the pregnancy, the labor and delivery, and the days following. Michael said that worked for him.
Meaghan (Vinson) Wall
Tyler that was GREAT! Sounds like you have got it all down. I must say I agree with Meaghan...just do whatever Haley needs you to do and everything will go smoothly. Although, I'm sure Haley is so sweet and easy going you wouldn't have to worry if you didn't do that :)
HAHA dude its so ironic but we learned that exact same language for starbucks the other day! but, i wont use it in a sentence like you did...
Ok, I disagree with the previous comments. Tyler, this is what you need to say to Haley when it's time to push:
"Chick, Click...Don't get scared NOW!"
It'll work, my friend, it'll work!
I loved the lingo session you gave. Welcome to the world of hospital terminology my friend. I may not be medical, but I have to know the lingo to "fit" in! We just had an event at the local mall and the marketing people there were using terminology that confused me! Apparently it showed on my face and they quickly said, "Oh, I forget people don't know our jargon!" Me being the super cool person I am quickly added, "Well, we in the hospital field have our own language completely...SO TAKE THAT PUNK!" Just kidding about the last part of that sentence!
Glad all is well! I'm looking forward to meeting my new friend Griffen or Griffin...I can't remember how to spell it.
Ha. I give that sentence an A. Welcome to your new life.
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